apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone says I win the strip club
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize