so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
pray to the hookup gods
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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