you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
