just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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