In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize