This is not my ceiling
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
