I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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