He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
