my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
