And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
