I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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