I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
