My Higher Power is John Stamos
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize