Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
