Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
