Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
