oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
