he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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