I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
