that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
