Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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