I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
