It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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