you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
