Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
