I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
