Already got asked if we're dating
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
