i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
