I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
