Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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(713): View more from Texas

I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...

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(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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(619): View more from California

You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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(702): View more from Nevada

oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..

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(410): View more from Maryland

There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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(407): View more from Florida

This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.

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(937): View more from Ohio

At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.

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