No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
