I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
