I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She announced her abortion via fbk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
send nudes
from the living room?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
