Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
