Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
