i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize