North Korea, Best Korea!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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