i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
