As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize