Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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