Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
