She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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