we made out on top of his cat.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
