She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
