Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
