Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
