Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
