Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
