and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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