I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
