so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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