Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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