you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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