They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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