I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
there is glitter all over my balls
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
