i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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