You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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