She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
