i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
