Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
