I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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